Miss Manners: Sending a ‘Merry Christmas’ card to those who have lost loved ones this year seems off

Greetings, Miss Manners This year, I lost three close friends. It seems inappropriate to wish their family a Merry Christmas or a Happy New Year as the holidays get near.

Instead, I bought blank cards that say “I’m thinking of you.” In these, what do I write? Shall I reminisce about the person they lost?

I want to reassure them that their father, husband, and brother were loved by me and many others, even though I know nothing I say will make up for their loss.

PERSONAL READER: You did write condolence letters at the time, didn’t you? With your condolences and gratitude for the deceased?

Sure, share more of these memories if you have any.

However, Miss Manners realizes that if you are considering these grieving families right now, you probably recognize that they might feel especially alone during a time when other people are getting together with their family. Is there any way you can include them, like paying them a visit or, depending on their level of grief, inviting them to somewhat subdued events?

Stories by

Judith Martin

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Greetings, Miss Manners Could you kindly explain what to do when a present has a price tag that is difficult to remove? Is it preferable to simply leave the price visible to everyone or to partially remove it and mark through the remainder, creating a poor sticker mess?

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GENTLE READER: Please try not to create a mess when you ink it out.

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