Greetings, Abby My 18-year marriage, which ought to have ended years ago, terminated lately. I met Winston, the most amazing man, while I was making up my mind to leave. He is the complete opposite of my ex-husband; he treats me like a queen.I accepted Winston’s offer to relocate into an empty trailer on his property when my previous house was sold during the divorce process. I’m sorry we didn’t meet years ago and start a life together because we get along so well.My best pal is Winston. Since we met a year ago, he has only shown me respect. We didn’t advance our relationship until six weeks ago, when my divorce was finalized. I’ve been living in the trailer for three months, and I’m content. He and his sister reside in the house next door. He and her have never been married.We’ve already discussed marriage. In about six months, he wants us to get married. Since I need time to recover and have experienced a lot, including moving, changing my name, changing my residence, etc., I was considering getting engaged in six months. Our connection is now strained as a result of this.I informed Winston that although I haven’t been divorced for even two months, I DO want to get married. I need more time to get used to a relationship that is so different and more typical. I was a little shocked when he said he wanted to get married in six months because he had previously assured me there was no pressure and that he understood I needed time.I don’t believe I’m being irrational. Do you? What ought I to do next? Although I’m not ready yet, I definitely want to live with him. — IN THE EASTDEAR PAUSING TO BREATHE: You recently left a bad marriage. Winston was on the rebound when you met him. Before getting married again, you DO need time to heal and find your identity. You claimed that there was a rift when you advised Winston to take his time. That is a serious red flag that raises doubts about the quality of a marriage with him.After a terrible occurrence, people are recommended to refrain from making any significant decisions for a year. I agree. Before you walk to the altar, get to know Winston and his sister much better. In order to regain your independence, I also suggest that you look for a different place to reside than his trailer.
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Greetings, Abby I’m a solitary girl with few pals. I cherish the friendships I do have. Now, one of them is relocating to a new state. She promised that we would keep in contact and that I would see her again before she left, but she hasn’t been returning my calls or texts. Additionally, she hasn’t been speaking with any other friends. My mother tells me to stop phoning her and that she will pick up when she can. What ought I to do? — A SELECTED COMPANION IN VIRGINIGreetings, friend: What a wise woman your mother is. Your friend may not have responded to your attempts to contact them for a number of reasons. She might be occupied. Like you, she might be experiencing separation anxiety. She can also be experiencing feelings of overwhelm and suffocation. Take a step back and listen to your mother.
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