Greetings, Abby When 69-year-old Mom moved closer to them, Looking Out for Mom in Chicago (Aug. 16) was anxious that she wasn’t going out and interacting with people, and they were frightened that they would be her sole source of support as she grew older. She has always been bashful, they added.I can relate to their mom because I’m an introvert who is about 70 years old. Being introverted and moving to a new place without friends isn’t necessarily a bad thing. When I go to town to shop and chat with familiar clerks, I get all the socializing I need.It is hard for an introvert to be pushed into unfamiliar circumstances. The situation is really uncomfortable. those must understand that there are those who are actually content to be alone. — WISCONSINDEAR THE CATHY: I appreciate you sharing your knowledge. Experiences from other readers who have been there were also shared. Continue reading:
Greetings, Abby As a social worker with years of experience working with the elderly, I can assure you that Looking’s mother will not comply with or react well to being told she needs to socialize and make friends. She can be mourning the passing of her former religious community, her acquaintances from back home, and other people. She may need time to reconcile all of this. If she s active, staying healthy and taking care of herself, let her decide when she s ready to reach out and broaden her circle.Social interactions and friendships cannot be coerced. They occur organically. Rather than her son and daughter-in-law dictating what she should do, how about sitting down with her and gently exploring how she is adjusting, and how they can help her in a more supportive way? Made with silver in Massachusetts
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: Why did husband send holiday cards to family who let us down during daughter s wedding?
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Dear Abby: Dining card gift etiquette questioned. Should we offer to pay part of gift-giver s meal too?
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Dear Abby: We planned to have a baby. But now that I m pregnant my husband s attitude has me feeling alone
Greetings, Abby You were on the right track to suggest that Mom become a volunteer. Volunteering allows the person to get involved to whatever degree they wish in their areas of interest. In my hometown, I joined a dog therapy group. It provides casual, short-term visits in hospitals, rehab centers, nursing homes, school campuses, businesses and manufacturing facilities. The focus of dog therapy is primarily on the person being visited — but EVERYONE benefits. — DON IN SOUTH CAROLINADEAR ABBY: May I suggest they have Mom s hearing tested? Not being able to hear what is going on discourages people from joining in and getting involved in group settings. — MARGO IN ILLINOISDEAR ABBY: You might add, on behalf of Shy Mom, that taking an adult education class or two in the local community, in subjects that interest her, will give her access to potential friends. Better yet, she can be in the class but not required to interact with strangers unless she wants to. — JOHN J. IN CALIFORNIA
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