Asking Eric: When my friend drives, his anger and impatience stress me out

To Eric, One of my friends is a very irate and irritable driver. He was the driver on a recent trip, and his passengers had an extremely unpleasant time. He hit the brakes, yelled loudly inside the car, and cursed at other drivers.

In addition, he is the kind of person who snatches change from a cashier’s hand, complains about parking, becomes agitated when there are too many people in a store, and becomes very upset when told to calm down. After this previous trip, I’m wondering if you can offer any advice on what we can say and how we can act when we are uncomfortable with his conduct. Normally, other members of our party try to ignore it or simply say that’s who he is.

Calm Companion

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To Calm, please: With all due respect, I’m not sure why you and this individual are still pals. It’s not a jab at you. Instead, this individual’s actions are obviously antisocial and worrisome. It’s difficult to perceive the friendship’s benefits.

This can be the consequence of an emotional or psychological problem. If so, assistance is offered if he agrees to accept it. Try talking to him about it while you’re calm. Recognize his emotions, such as rage, irritation, etc., and let him know how his actions affect other people. I was frightened, anxious, and uneasy when [x] occurred. I find it worrisome and believe it is hurting our connection. Instead, I want to feel [x] when we’re together.

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This is also your chance to establish a non-negotiable cap on what you will be a party to. Tell your pal if you don’t feel comfortable riding in a car with them. And do action in response to that statement. Stay out of the automobile.

Additionally, let him know that you will not be dining with him if he treats waiters rudely, which is unacceptable. Encourage him to speak with a professional, either in person or online, through one-on-one counseling or an anger management support group.

He might not consider his rage to be an issue. He might view it as a reasonable reaction to a reality that hasn’t fulfilled his expectations. He has the right to do that, but it’s crucial to inform him of the consequences of his behavior and provide him the opportunity to change.

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