Greetings, Abby I am a woman, and I have been with my spouse for twenty-five years. We lived in the Middle East for half of them. As health care expatriates, we first crossed paths. My husband is from South Africa, and his upbringing differs greatly from mine.We purchased a home in a southern state where two of my brothers reside when we eventually made it back to the United States. My spouse eventually informed me that she didn’t want them to remain at our place during their visits. She wanted them to stay in a hotel.
She expressed her distaste that they might not take a shower before bed and that their presence might disturb our kitties. I reminded her that sheets are always washed after guests go and told her that I thought her remarks were impolite.Our relationship has been quite strained as a result, and I’m not sure I can continue to harm and alienate my family by not inviting them into my house. I want my family and friends to feel welcome since I love them just as much as my spouse. I can’t decide what to do. — DRAW IN TWO
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: Before she died my sister promised me specific belongings. Her husband hasn t given me anything
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DEAR PULLED: Your wife’s arguments for wanting your brothers to stay in a hotel are excuses rather than justifications, and I’m not sure why she would object to them staying in your place.
After guests go, the sheets are cleaned and replaced, as you mentioned. Cats are also creatures of adaptation. An alternative would be for you to see your family or for your husband to depart when they arrive.
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