To Annie, please: I met a guy on a dating service seven years ago. Despite being 13 years older than him, I appear considerably younger. He asked me out on a date after we matched, and we shared a kiss. From there, we kept texting, flirting and engaging in a lot of suggestive conversations — but he never asked me out again.We have stayed good friends over the years. He occasionally stops contacting me for weeks at a time, but he always returns. Despite this inconsistency, he s helped me out several times — like giving me a ride from the airport, spending a day helping me clean my garage and assembling a bike for me. We always end up kissing. The last time, when things started heating up, he pulled away, said he was sweaty and left.Like best friends, we are. He keeps flirting with me and frequently adds, “Perhaps we’ll be intimate someday.” I don’t believe he’s dating anyone based on what he tells me. But after all these years, I m starting to wonder if this is going anywhere or if I m wasting my time.Is it better to give up and move on, or should I continue to hope that a romantic relationship may blossom? — In a state of limbo
Dear Limbo: It sounds like you ve been in emotional limbo with this man for years. While he values you enough to stay in your life and help out, his inconsistency and hesitation suggest he s not ready or willing to commit to something deeper.Ask yourself: Is this relationship giving you what you want? If not, it s time to have an honest conversation with him. Tell him how you feel and ask what he truly wants. Be clear about your own needs — whether it s a relationship or closure.You deserve someone who s certain about you and ready to commit. Don t settle for maybe one day when you could have something real with someone else.
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