To Annie, please: My three kids are two daughters and a son. My family has always been loving and supportive, and I am a widow. My son and I both reside in the same city. He looks after me every day and is so kind.My daughters live two hours distant from the city. About once a month, my eldest daughter and her spouse visit. They pay close attention. My youngest daughter used to visit frequently and we have always been extremely close. She has five grandchildren and four grown children from her divorce. She divorced her ex-husband six years ago because he was having an affair. I believe she was caught off guard by the affair.Since then, she’s met someone else. They are in an exclusive relationship, and he is a very good man. She used to visit roughly every six weeks, and we spoke every day. She rarely visits now, though.I have provided her with financial support by taking care of my grandchildren and her, paying for her divorce, and purchasing furniture and other essentials. She claims that nothing happened to make her stop visiting as frequently.I need a walker because I had hip replacement surgery a few years ago. I don’t drive anymore. I have only seen her once this year, when she came to stay for the night in late January. She does make calls nearly daily.I don’t know why her behavior changed. Even though I make an effort not to think about it, I do think about it over the holidays. She claims that nothing has happened, that she is simply busy, and that I haven’t done anything to offend her.The rest of the family and I both miss her. What recommendations do you have? — I’m missing my daughter.
To Missing, My daughter: You seem to have a great relationship with each of your three kids. I would give your daughter the benefit of the doubt because it’s simple to become engrossed in the responsibilities of daily life, particularly in a new relationship. She sounds like she’s quite busy.Instead of relying on your daughter to visit on her own initiative, think about asking her and her new partner over more often if you want to see your daughter more. A simple “I miss you, come over for pizza on Friday night!” could suffice instead of going all out with hosting. If she keeps turning you down, it could be helpful to talk to her about how much you value her visits, especially if she calls you nearly every day.
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