To Lizzy,
Over Christmas, my sister and her spouse extended an invitation to spend two weeks at our home. We’re okay with them. However, Christmas vacation doesn’t mean that our lives end. For starters, work and kid-friendly activities. Furthermore, our house isn’t that large! We wouldn’t mind spending three days with them. Max. Without being a complete jerk, how do I tell her this?
The Grinch
To Grinch,
Oh, a traditional Christmas story, but two weeks? No one should ever stay at someone’s house for more than three days without their clear and very specific consent, in my professional view. You should either be a renter or the resident’s child if you intend to spend two weeks at their home.
Yes, spend two weeks traveling to someone’s town. But remain where you are. Create your own plans. Don’t expect others to look after you.
But what should you do since it was you, not your sister, who emailed me this question?
Be honest: On these particular days, we would love to have you stay with us for perhaps two nights. Due to our existing calendar commitments, we simply cannot host for any longer than that! However, let’s arrange a ton of activities to get together!
However, I apologize; if your sister is currently on her way, you should have taken this action right away; it’s too late. It will be difficult to retract your statement that she could stay at your house and still keep your connection with her intact.
In that case, live your life to the fullest. While you’re away, go about your business and other activities and let your sister and her family know what to do. Include them in domestic chores and make sure they are prepared to care for themselves. They can even be tasked with cooking meals. I’m not sure where you reside, but if it’s in Oregon, recommend a few overnight excursions. Maybe they want to take the bus to the beach or Mount Hood and stay in a hotel for a night or three? You can offer this as an option without being mean about it, because those actually are fun things to do!
Another thought? Get them to babysit and give you and your partner a night off!
If it s too late and you are stuck with your sister for two weeks, make the best of it. In the grand scheme of your whole life, two weeks isn t very long and you probably won t have a ton of times when you will be with her that consistently again. So talk to her, deepen your friendship, consider it a positive instead of a negative if you can.
And then really, really appreciate the quiet when she s gone.
Good luck!
Lizzy
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